Posts by Captain Schmideo2

The Greek chapel is the most roomy, the richest and the showiest chapel in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. Its altar, like that of all the Greek churches, is a lofty screen that extends clear across the chapel, and is gorgeous with gilding and pictures. The numerous lamps that hang before it are of gold and silver, and cost great sums.

But the feature of the place is a short column that rises from the middle of the marble pavement of the chapel, and marks the exact centre of the earth.

To satisfy himself that this spot was really the centre of the earth, a skeptic once paid well for the privilege of ascending to the dome of the church, to see if the sun gave him a shadow at noon. He came down perfectly convinced. The day was very cloudy, and the sun threw no shadows at all; but the man was satisfied that if the sun had come out and made shadows, it could not have made any for him. Proofs like these are not to be set aside by the idle tongues of cavilers. To such as are not bigoted, and are willing to be convinced, they carry a conviction that nothing can ever shake.

If even greater proofs than those I have mentioned are wanted, to satisfy the headstrong and foolish that this is the genuine centre of the earth, they are here. The greatest of them lies in the fact that from under this very column was taken the dust from which Adam was made. This can surely be regarded in the light of a settler. It is not likely that the original first man would have been made from an inferior quality of earth, when it was entirely convenient to get first quality from the world's centre. This will strike any reflecting mind forcibly. That Adam was formed of dirt procured in this very spot, is amply proven by the fact that in six thousand years no man has ever been able to prove that the dirt was not procured here whereof he was made.

It is a singular circumstance that right under the roof of this same great church, and not far away from that illustrious column, Adam himself, the father of the human race, lies buried. There is no question that he is actually buried in the grave which is pointed out as his--there can be none--because it has never yet been proven that that grave is not the grave in which he is buried.

The tomb of Adam! How touching it was, here in a land of strangers, far away from home and friends and all who cared for me, thus to discover the grave of a blood-relation! True, a distant one, but still a relation. The unerring instinct of nature thrilled its recognition. The foundation of my filial affection was stirred to its profoundest depths, and I gave way to tumultuous emotion.

I leaned upon a pillar and burst into tears. I deem it no shame to have wept over the grave of my poor dead relative. Let him who would sneer at my emotion close this volume here, for he will find little to his taste in my journeyings through Holy Land. Noble old man--he did not live to see me--he did not live to see his child. And I--I--alas, I did not live to see him. Weight down by sorrow and disappointment, he died before I was born--six thousand brief summers before I was born. But let us try to bear it with fortitude. Let us trust that he is better off where he is. Let us take comfort in the thought that his loss is our eternal gain.

From Mark Twain's Library of Humor, pp 33-35.

36

Faith, where now?

by Theburstbubble in

so for the first time ever i went to a church service at my local church (coe) and i have to say it was awful!

it was just like a ritual.

the vicar would say something and then the congregation would all say a phrase in unison back to him.

Captain Schmideo2

David_Jay-
Do you mean to say that the 1st century Christians didn't go around door to door with portable scrolls?

58

Jehovah's Witness Church Release Statement

by truthseekeriam in

jw
friends

"we are saddened to hear about the death of prince rogers nelson, who was baptized as one of jehovah’s witnesses in 2003," the church said in a statement obtained by people.

the church said that prince "found fulfillment as a witness and in sharing his faith with others.

http://www.people.com/article/prince-dead-jehovah-witness-release-statement.

Captain Schmideo2

DAMMIT, Outlaw, you stole my idea!

38

Hard to Remember but Back in the Ninteen Fifies...

by new boy in

jw
friends

my writing a book about my strange life as a jw.

i need some help.. does anyone remember when they used to get these charts out at the service meetings which had all the hours, "back calls" and bible studies on it?

what did they call that?.

Captain Schmideo2

http://i.imgur.com/5zBV6he.jpg

10

JW drives car through Kingdom Hall

by LevelThePlayingField in

a 78-year-old female driver escaped with cuts and bruises after crashing into the kingdom hall of jehovah’s witnesses in berrimah.

picture: nt policea parishioner arriving at the kingdom hall of jehovah’s witnesses in berrimah crashed through two church walls, missing occupants waiting for a service to start.. the 78-year-old female driver was taken to hospital with cuts and bruises.

police believed she may also be suffering from shock.. the kingdom hall of jehovah’s witnesses suffered significant damage when a female parishioner crashed through two walls in her car.

Captain Schmideo2

Meanwhile, a lot of members of the hall are thinking "Awright! I can fade back for a bit while we 'go to another Hall' !"

21

Abolitionist Harriet Tubman will replace President Andrew Jackson on the US$20 bill

by oppostate in

"it’s official: secretary of the treasury jack lew has announced that abolitionist harriet tubman will replace president andrew jackson on the $20 bill.

and, while jackson will still reportedly remain on the reverse side of the bill, the move is nonetheless a momentous one.. .

"naturally there are many people who will complain about this decision, but since tubman’s legacy leading slaves to freedom through the underground railroad is beyond reproach, these critics will most likely turn to defending jackson.

Captain Schmideo2

Hey DOC, I imagine you are gonna be stuck in a hard place at your local ATM; I also look forward to seeing your hardline stance when someone can only pay you in $20's.

5

The World's End

by AnonVet in

i just got done watching the world's end.

wow.

just substitute the "blanks" with "witnesses" and it's spot on.

Captain Schmideo2

Well, AnonVet, I guess you and I are the only ones that have the same type of humor. And I agree that the conformity of the 'Blanks" is eerily like becoming a JW.

For the rest of you out there:
"The Worlds End" is a comedy science fiction movie about four school mates who are dragged back to their old village by the groups former leader, a self centered prick of a human, into reliving and completing the night they had a legendary pub crawl, hitting all the pubs around town, and ending at the "The World's End".
While they are working out the facts that they are older, having mid life problems, and dealing with Gary, the leader, they start to realize that the village has now become taken over by lookalikes of the townspeople, ala' "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", and that's when things really get weird.

It's the last third of the 'Coronetto' Trilogy, directed by Edgar Wright and starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Martin Freeman, Rosamund Pike, and features Pierce Brosnan. The other two thirds of the trilogy are "Sean of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz".

26

What was jesus doing for the first 30 years of his life?

by atomant in

30 years is a long time in the life of a human yet little is written about this time frame,l wonder why?

Captain Schmideo2

John 21:25-"Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."

But it sounds like marketing hype to me. Kind of along the lines of "This product has features too numerous to mention" meaning it has like five more minor, forgettable features.

60

These are Bernie supporters waiting for their free stuff

by Morning Warship in

jw
friends

garbage removed.

Captain Schmideo2

Once again, for the slow witted out there:

It's NOT about getting free stuff;

It's about obtaining services that we should be getting FOR THE MONEY WE ALREADY PUT IN!